Happy Trails Cowboy Church
1497 Highway 67 West
Glen Rose, Texas
Cowboy Humor
You might be in a Cowboy Church if: 
-If the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. 
-If people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. 
-If opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. (and duck, quail, hog, football) 
-If a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because  "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." 
-If Baptism is referred to as "branding". 
-If high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. 
-If people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. 
-If the collection plates are tin buckets by the door.
-If instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call. 
-If most folks Bibles have a Gideon's stamp on the cover.
-If the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear!"
-If the baptismal is a galvanized stock tank.
-If the passing train causes the church to break out in a train song: This train is bound for glory!
-If John Wayne is a patron saint (God rest his soul.)
-If heaven has hunting seasons. (No limit.) 


The Cowboy in Church
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, " I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him." So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay." 


How to install a wireless security system:
1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair. 
2. Put the boots outside your front door on top of a copy of "Guns and Ammo" magazine. 
3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish. 
4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr.
Don't disturb the Pitbulls, they've just been wormed."